Stumbled Words (Long)

Mood: Pissed off.
Music: Pieces - Sum 41.
I've embedded the lyrics into the post, because it really fits my thinking strategies today.

Today was a major mixed bag of emotions for me. A lot of things happened during the day, that affected my mood. Not many of them where simple, but a few of them have been burned into my mind recently.
I've been thinking about this post all through the day, because of each of them. I need to rant. I'm going to structure it, and although this first bit won't make sense, I need to get it off my chest right away. It's digging at me.

I tried to be perfect
But nothing was worth it
I don’t believe it makes me real
I thought it’d be easy
But no one believes me
I meant all the things I said



He's such an arrogant bastard. "I was just going to mooch around Andrew till he offered me a lift." I mean, the train station is totally in walking distance. Don't assume I'm going to offer you something, I wouldn't of minded if you'd asked politely instead of saying it behind my back. What if I'd said No? Then what would you do? I'm not just a doormatt that you can ignore most of the time and then just stamp all over when you need something from me.

If you believe it’s in my soul
I’d say all the words that I know
Just to see if it would show
That I’m trying to let you know
That I’m better off on my own

I got up late again this morning. I really wish I could be a morning person, it would make my life just that much simpler. But, alas. Quickly downing a small drink and eating some bread I dashed into the car to get into school and see myles and tom waiting together. Not saying a word. One word raced through my mind, Sam says it a lot in these situations. Wonderful. We started up a conversation and eventually the others arrived including Sam. Then the bell went, and we seperated. I was walking away from reception with Tom, we still go with Myles as he fetches the register from the slot. Tim passed us and was like 'You do know your form's register is there?' I was in disbelief. It's NEVER there, but apparently it was today. I grabbed it and we headed to form.
Form was odd. I messed with Sir's head, because he annoyed me. After brooding over it last night, the first thing he said to me when I got in
'So can you definatly come tonight?' Ticked off, an idea formed.
'Oh shit! I forgot to tell you! My mum's got this massive job tonight and I can't come! I'm sorryyyy...' His eyes widened but his smile remained.
'Are you serious?' Panick in his voice now.
'Nope!' I laughed, and he swore at me several times before I settled into my seat and he took the register. It was an improvement atleast, then he put on his music and started singing along, which I lol'ed at.

This place is so empty
My thoughts are so tempting
I don’t know how it got so bad
Sometimes it’s so crazy
That nothing can save me
But it’s the only thing that I have


ICT Core was just annoying. Myles told Chris that I'd said Chris was so far up himself that his Adam's apple is his own nose. Gee, thanks Myles. So I had an hour of doing work quickly whilst Chris listed my many flaws. Wonderful. It was alright in the end though, because I realized just how much further than him I am, even though he's attended two catch up sessions.
ICT Standard cheered me up a bit, as Sam managed to find me a tutorial so that I could insert a music clip into my website so I could finally rescue my first class system and be able to create outgoing messages again. I populated a couple of pages and was pretty much finished with that as the bell went. I'll probably be 'gathering evidence' next lesson.
Break was alright, but the old bag told me to get something to read. She also told me she got my reply about being able to come to the lunch today, which I'd emailed her about after rescueing first class. Sam took the mick of how I'd grabbed a book on the mysteries of the world and I lol'ed with him, before the bell went and we parted ways to history. I took a small jibe at Sam, saying that I was keeping my christmas secrets too, before heading to class. History, I went to go photocopy some stuff for Miss Colley, and this woman was struggling with this massive box of stuff so I offered a hand and I carried the box and she carried the bit of paper to her car, then she gave me the paper back and I rushed to repographics to make the copies. The rest of history was just a bit boring really; I could hear myles moaning behind me to Tom Watts, who obviously did not care about myles's ramblings. At all.

If you believe it’s in my soul
I’d say all the words that I know
Just to see if it would show
That I’m trying to let you know
That I’m better off on my own


Afternoon form was alright. Didn't really talk to Sir much, just chatted to Alistair. Didn't really pay attention to what he was saying, but it was alright. He's not so annoying this week; but I just jinxed it, didn't I? >_<
Maths was alright. We had a ticklist and we had to rate how confident we were on all the stuff we covered, so I was perfectly honest and said that I found perfecting squares fine in the lesson but when I tried it for homework I completely fucked up and mindblanked. We watched hotfuzz and stuff at the same time, which was pretty cool.
English we watched GhostBusters and I forgot my english redraft. Which I spent ages on yesterday. <_< Oh well, I had more important things on my mind last night and this morning I was in a total rush. I'll bring it in tommorow, for definate. I'm fairly happy with the essay as it stands.

On my own

I tried to be perfect
It just wasn’t worth it
Nothing could ever be so wrong
It’s hard to believe me
It never gets easy
I guess I knew that all along

I had an hour and a half to burn so I went back to the RE department hoping to get a second to chat to sir alone, but no such luck; he was already in Miss Knagg's room. I didn't mind that much though, I had no idea what I was going to say. I faked a text message and pulled the whole 'I actually just got a text saying I can't come tonight!' he fell for it. Again. He started cursing going 'What am I going to do!?!?' I laughed and he just looked up and realized I was joking. But it seemed like we were back to normal so Miss Knaggs, Thompson and I just chatted about the concert for a while before they left to go navigate their way to the church; I went to town and bought an oreo milkshake and a festive bake pasty or something before heading to the church myself.

If you believe it’s in my soul
I’d say all the words that I know
Just to see if it would show
That I’m trying to let you know
That I’m better off on my own

Before the concert Thompson was panicking because one of the staff he'd asked to read wasn't turning up. I offered to do the reading if she didn't turn up so he handed me a copy and she turned up at the last minute. I was glad tbh, I didn't want to read again. Me and Thompson had a bit of a laugh taking the mick out of each other and shit and miss told us to stop bullying each other, which we found funny.
Cutting to the concert itself, half way through the singing Nat slowly put his hand on my arse. Fighting back the urge to kill him for groping me in a church, I carried on singing. When he tried to do it again I ended up holding his hand so he placed it on his ass. ¬¬. He's not even gay. A while later and it was time for my reading, and I stumbled quite a lot. I had to walk past Thompson's seat to get back to mine, and he was quite involved with it, introducing stuff and crap, but he didn't even look at me as I went past. I felt bad for mucking up on the reading.
Now to explain the beggining bit. Before the concert Miss Knaggs was worrying that she didn't have a way other than walking to get to the station, which was a good 30 minute walk in the dark. I offered her a lift with my family because we go past the station; my mum sent me a text back saying it was fine and all arranged. Sir wasn't talking directly too me, but he never exactly left my side. He was talking to Mr. Reed when I was talking to John, then I moved over to my mum and he left Mr. Reed and talked to Zack, who was right next to me. I ignored it, then when my mum said it was time to go I went and got Miss Knaggs saying 'C'mon, we're giving you a lift remember?' She seemed very grateful and asked Thompson how he was getting home. Neither of them can drive, you see. "I was just going to mooch around Andrew till he offered me a lift." This actually really ticked me off. First off, he hadn't said a word to me since the end of the concert and he didn't mention it when I was offering Knaggs a lift either. He could have just asked, and I would have gladly said yes. But no, he decided he would stick close by me in hopes I'd offer him a lift. Even though I was mad I hid it fairly well (imo, anyway) and said 'Do you want a lift, Sir?' the journey to the station with them in the car was odd. My mum and Thompson sat in the front, Me and Knaggs were in the back. I was still in a bit of a mood about the reading muckups, and shiz so I was a bit quiet. Miss and me had a brief conversation before they both got out. He just got out of the car, got his bags, said thanks to my mum and walked off. Oh, bye to you too. Miss Knaggs was all thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou I shall see you tommorow Andy and I look forward to seeing you on parents evening Mrs. King.
I know he's been under pressure recently, but come on! There are limits.