Sunday, December 28, 2008
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
Bad Eves
Mood: Doubting myself, trying to cling to the remains of christmas spirit.
Music: This Boy - James Morrison.
This boy wants to play
There's no time left today
It's a shame coz he has to go home
This boy's got to work, got to sweat
Just to pay what he gets to get left all alone
My mum and my brother have been argueing all day. It's really getting me down. I went to town with Henry at one point to get the last present, a book, and then came home to have the arguements start again. Other than that, I've done pretty much nothing else except play RuneScape. I've been playing a lot recently. Partly because I enjoy it, and partly because I'm ever so slightly hiding behind it.
This girl tries her best every day
But it's all gone to waste
Coz there's no one around
This girl she can draw she can paint
Likes to dance she can skate
Now she don't make a sound
Sam is this great guy. He's amazing. Even if I'm on runescape next time I talk to him, I'm going to try and avoid talking about it.
The weekend opened my eyes, I realized I have a lot of options. There's really not much stopping me doing whatever. Sam's my best friend, and it's going to stay that way. For eveeeeeerrrrr.
EDIT: Just wrapped every single present left in the house because my sister is out and I figured I'd get in done before going to bed. I'm feeling a lot better now that I've done it all, and I'm more confident about the whole Sam situation. We'll be fwends. For eba and eba. Plus he mentioned something to keep us in touch more, sounds interesting. Mon spirite noel est ici. My christmas spirit is here, en francais. ;)
Merry Christmas everyone!!!
Music: This Boy - James Morrison.
This boy wants to play
There's no time left today
It's a shame coz he has to go home
This boy's got to work, got to sweat
Just to pay what he gets to get left all alone
My mum and my brother have been argueing all day. It's really getting me down. I went to town with Henry at one point to get the last present, a book, and then came home to have the arguements start again. Other than that, I've done pretty much nothing else except play RuneScape. I've been playing a lot recently. Partly because I enjoy it, and partly because I'm ever so slightly hiding behind it.
This girl tries her best every day
But it's all gone to waste
Coz there's no one around
This girl she can draw she can paint
Likes to dance she can skate
Now she don't make a sound
Sam is this great guy. He's amazing. Even if I'm on runescape next time I talk to him, I'm going to try and avoid talking about it.
The weekend opened my eyes, I realized I have a lot of options. There's really not much stopping me doing whatever. Sam's my best friend, and it's going to stay that way. For eveeeeeerrrrr.
EDIT: Just wrapped every single present left in the house because my sister is out and I figured I'd get in done before going to bed. I'm feeling a lot better now that I've done it all, and I'm more confident about the whole Sam situation. We'll be fwends. For eba and eba. Plus he mentioned something to keep us in touch more, sounds interesting. Mon spirite noel est ici. My christmas spirit is here, en francais. ;)
Merry Christmas everyone!!!
Quick words
Mood: Tired
Music: Broken Strings - James Morrison
The last weekend was fucking amazing. I wouldn't of spent it any other way. But I'm not going to go into that, seeing as the only regular reader of my blog was the person that spent it with me; who knows how much I enjoyed it. Ilu Sam <3
The last two days have been really good, too, but not much has happened. Just wanted to do a quick blog post as I'm unable to sleep right now; mainly because my mum is listening to loud tv. >_>
Music: Broken Strings - James Morrison
The last weekend was fucking amazing. I wouldn't of spent it any other way. But I'm not going to go into that, seeing as the only regular reader of my blog was the person that spent it with me; who knows how much I enjoyed it. Ilu Sam <3
The last two days have been really good, too, but not much has happened. Just wanted to do a quick blog post as I'm unable to sleep right now; mainly because my mum is listening to loud tv. >_>
Thursday, December 18, 2008
Footnotes
Mood: Irritable/Excited. At the same time, yes.
Music: New Classic (acoustic) - Drew Seeley.
The acoustic version of New Classic is completely different and even more amazing. I love it. <333
Today was good. Hardly did any work at school at all. Got up on time for once, showered and shit and then decided to walk to school just to get some fresh air before heading to school. The walk was fine, no chavs tried anything. Talked to the guys for a bit and the bell went, headed to form. Nothing special, more doubts about the friendship between me and the man I talk too much about.
PE first, which was alright. I saved quite a few goals, even if Sir was directing me the whole time. 'Use your hands' etc. I dunno if he knows my name yet. I want to try in PE, but if I keep getting stuck in goal I can't, but I don't care that much to be honeest.
Physics we had Terrington cover us (a generally jolly fatman XD) and we watched the most recent live at the apollo which was fucking hilarious. Watched it all lesson, many laughs were had.
Spent break with the guys discussing games for tommorow and shit, mostly Super Smash Bros. Brawl. I'm providing the house, Sam is providing the wii, Ross is providing the game. XD
RE was good; we had a multiple choice pop quiz and I got 14/14, so I got to have two chocolates instead of 1 ^_^ We watched bruce almighty the rest of the lesson, and it's still funny like the millionth time you watch it. It's just a feel good film. :D
Lunch me and Sam huggled quite a lot. Also Myles forgot my name so I pretended to be really offended. He bought it. :P Just pissed around with the guys a bit more, then headed to form.
Form Thompson was trying to impress Micheal Anderson with his knowledge of Chris Moyles lyrics so I didn't even bother, just talked to Alistair for a bit and headed to ICT standard in an alright mood. ICT we were given 'free time' but once we were actually allowed to do it, we'd run out of things to do, so we just mucked around for an hour before I headed to history. History we watched band of brothers, and I thought a lot about my current relationships. Me & Sam are all good. Me and most people are all good at the moment. Thompson however... It seems like I'm making all the effort to be friends, and always have been. Decided to just go back and see him to talk to him for a bit, and we chatted about plans for the weekend then he headed off to see Weaver because they get lifts together or something. It was good just to talk to him. So I'm making all the effort. I might stop and see what happens.
Talked to Sam for a majority of the evening and finally finished up his present ^_^
Music: New Classic (acoustic) - Drew Seeley.
The acoustic version of New Classic is completely different and even more amazing. I love it. <333
Today was good. Hardly did any work at school at all. Got up on time for once, showered and shit and then decided to walk to school just to get some fresh air before heading to school. The walk was fine, no chavs tried anything. Talked to the guys for a bit and the bell went, headed to form. Nothing special, more doubts about the friendship between me and the man I talk too much about.
PE first, which was alright. I saved quite a few goals, even if Sir was directing me the whole time. 'Use your hands' etc. I dunno if he knows my name yet. I want to try in PE, but if I keep getting stuck in goal I can't, but I don't care that much to be honeest.
Physics we had Terrington cover us (a generally jolly fatman XD) and we watched the most recent live at the apollo which was fucking hilarious. Watched it all lesson, many laughs were had.
Spent break with the guys discussing games for tommorow and shit, mostly Super Smash Bros. Brawl. I'm providing the house, Sam is providing the wii, Ross is providing the game. XD
RE was good; we had a multiple choice pop quiz and I got 14/14, so I got to have two chocolates instead of 1 ^_^ We watched bruce almighty the rest of the lesson, and it's still funny like the millionth time you watch it. It's just a feel good film. :D
Lunch me and Sam huggled quite a lot. Also Myles forgot my name so I pretended to be really offended. He bought it. :P Just pissed around with the guys a bit more, then headed to form.
Form Thompson was trying to impress Micheal Anderson with his knowledge of Chris Moyles lyrics so I didn't even bother, just talked to Alistair for a bit and headed to ICT standard in an alright mood. ICT we were given 'free time' but once we were actually allowed to do it, we'd run out of things to do, so we just mucked around for an hour before I headed to history. History we watched band of brothers, and I thought a lot about my current relationships. Me & Sam are all good. Me and most people are all good at the moment. Thompson however... It seems like I'm making all the effort to be friends, and always have been. Decided to just go back and see him to talk to him for a bit, and we chatted about plans for the weekend then he headed off to see Weaver because they get lifts together or something. It was good just to talk to him. So I'm making all the effort. I might stop and see what happens.
Talked to Sam for a majority of the evening and finally finished up his present ^_^
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
Diluted Arguements
Mood: Pretty good right now.
Music: CrushCrushFaint - Linkin Park/Paramore
Relationships were the other person means/meant a lot to you are very tricky when a problem arises. Friendships between people with different levels of authority, their tricky too. Combine the two together, and something complicated forms that none of your friends understand why you bother, even if some of them try to. But when you get lucky, during that ing or swim moment; everything isn't as bad as you thought.
It's very easy to be angry 'behind the scenes' but when you come face to face with the-figure-of-authority-that-your-not-so-close-with-anymore the words and reasons you were pissed at them for escape you when they give you a small smile. Okay, so maybe that's not such a common thing. :P The point you were about to make reduces in your mind and the thing you were considering ranting at them gets reducing to an almost petty remark at the first opportunity.
It's weak, I know, but don't judge me. I just can't stay mad at people I like(d) when their actually in front of me; it's something I should work on... XD At one point Thompson said 'does anyone have a pain' so I flicked mine at him and when he was done with it I came out with 'See, if you ask for a pen instead of 'mooching round me till I offer you one' your a lot more likely to get it.' Nothing compared to what I was imagining last night by going back after form and being like 'You were quite rude last night, assuming that I'd offer you a lift and shit and then when I did not even saying goodbye.' with proper pouting and anger and all. But oh well, I'm weak.
Maths we did this random worksheet and Tom, David, Sam Mills (not the one I refer to constantly) and I had a philisophical debate about God's existance because we were bored. It was 3 on 1 and Sam was not going to accept defeat. Then when he said we were going to hell I used something I'd read once saying that hell isn't a physical place and that is a mis-conception, it's a mental state of mind where one is seperated from god, meaning we were alreading IN hell and it wasn't too bad. He stopped talking for a bit after that. XD
English was alright, we talked about Educating Rita for a bit and I volunteered to have one of the photocopies because there wasn't enough real copies. Norbert made some shitty remarks that I didn't care to listen to, then we watched ghost busters; which was cool.
Break was good; Wednesdays the bitchy librarian isn't in and it's the more calm one. Sam grabbed me a photography magazine and I managed to find lots of pictures of women somehow and Sam started regretting giving the photography one to me. XD Then I found an airbrushing thing and it looked amazing and I want it all over my real life face to get rid of dese damn spots. >:(
Third was a chemistry test that was alright, I completely winged a lot of it; just hoping I'd get the marks. When we started to go through it I seemed to be doing fairly well. There was a couple of lessons I missed so there was one or two questions I had no idea on so I made up shit. It was fun.
Lunch was cool. I managed to get the guys to go in the dry because it was wet outside and Myles gave me like half his lunch. I'm such a thieving bastard. XD Then myles went on making a load of bible jokes at John, who came out with an amazing comeback 'How would you know!? You're not the bible! Your as thick as the bible!' many lols where had, and the fact myles didn't get the joke made it even funnier.
Biology was another gay test that we marked and I got the exact mark required for an A. Chris Kemple, Alistair Eaton and Ben Bovensombat (such a freak, hate him) got D's and Andy Willis somehow got an E. This was very amusing for the rest of the class.
ICT Standard was awesome. Whenever Matt, Ross or I leave our computers un-attended, the other two pull pranks. Their never serious, work never gets deleted or anything like that. We turned his screen's brightness to 0 so it looked like it was off, then turned it off and then switched it off at the plug (the screen). He thought he'd been all clever locking his computer. He thought wrong. At one point Sam blasted drop the bomb shell in my ear. It hurt. :P I <3 Sam's music though.
Work was cool, it was a bit of a robotic day, nothing special happened with any of the students. At the end our employer handed out presents and we were all like :o as they were all different shapes. I'm not allowed to open it till christmas day. It's a really odd shape and I really want to know.
Music: CrushCrushFaint - Linkin Park/Paramore
Relationships were the other person means/meant a lot to you are very tricky when a problem arises. Friendships between people with different levels of authority, their tricky too. Combine the two together, and something complicated forms that none of your friends understand why you bother, even if some of them try to. But when you get lucky, during that ing or swim moment; everything isn't as bad as you thought.
It's very easy to be angry 'behind the scenes' but when you come face to face with the-figure-of-authority-that-your-not-so-close-with-anymore the words and reasons you were pissed at them for escape you when they give you a small smile. Okay, so maybe that's not such a common thing. :P The point you were about to make reduces in your mind and the thing you were considering ranting at them gets reducing to an almost petty remark at the first opportunity.
It's weak, I know, but don't judge me. I just can't stay mad at people I like(d) when their actually in front of me; it's something I should work on... XD At one point Thompson said 'does anyone have a pain' so I flicked mine at him and when he was done with it I came out with 'See, if you ask for a pen instead of 'mooching round me till I offer you one' your a lot more likely to get it.' Nothing compared to what I was imagining last night by going back after form and being like 'You were quite rude last night, assuming that I'd offer you a lift and shit and then when I did not even saying goodbye.' with proper pouting and anger and all. But oh well, I'm weak.
Maths we did this random worksheet and Tom, David, Sam Mills (not the one I refer to constantly) and I had a philisophical debate about God's existance because we were bored. It was 3 on 1 and Sam was not going to accept defeat. Then when he said we were going to hell I used something I'd read once saying that hell isn't a physical place and that is a mis-conception, it's a mental state of mind where one is seperated from god, meaning we were alreading IN hell and it wasn't too bad. He stopped talking for a bit after that. XD
English was alright, we talked about Educating Rita for a bit and I volunteered to have one of the photocopies because there wasn't enough real copies. Norbert made some shitty remarks that I didn't care to listen to, then we watched ghost busters; which was cool.
Break was good; Wednesdays the bitchy librarian isn't in and it's the more calm one. Sam grabbed me a photography magazine and I managed to find lots of pictures of women somehow and Sam started regretting giving the photography one to me. XD Then I found an airbrushing thing and it looked amazing and I want it all over my real life face to get rid of dese damn spots. >:(
Third was a chemistry test that was alright, I completely winged a lot of it; just hoping I'd get the marks. When we started to go through it I seemed to be doing fairly well. There was a couple of lessons I missed so there was one or two questions I had no idea on so I made up shit. It was fun.
Lunch was cool. I managed to get the guys to go in the dry because it was wet outside and Myles gave me like half his lunch. I'm such a thieving bastard. XD Then myles went on making a load of bible jokes at John, who came out with an amazing comeback 'How would you know!? You're not the bible! Your as thick as the bible!' many lols where had, and the fact myles didn't get the joke made it even funnier.
Biology was another gay test that we marked and I got the exact mark required for an A. Chris Kemple, Alistair Eaton and Ben Bovensombat (such a freak, hate him) got D's and Andy Willis somehow got an E. This was very amusing for the rest of the class.
ICT Standard was awesome. Whenever Matt, Ross or I leave our computers un-attended, the other two pull pranks. Their never serious, work never gets deleted or anything like that. We turned his screen's brightness to 0 so it looked like it was off, then turned it off and then switched it off at the plug (the screen). He thought he'd been all clever locking his computer. He thought wrong. At one point Sam blasted drop the bomb shell in my ear. It hurt. :P I <3 Sam's music though.
Work was cool, it was a bit of a robotic day, nothing special happened with any of the students. At the end our employer handed out presents and we were all like :o as they were all different shapes. I'm not allowed to open it till christmas day. It's a really odd shape and I really want to know.
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Stumbled Words (Long)
Mood: Pissed off.
Music: Pieces - Sum 41.
I've embedded the lyrics into the post, because it really fits my thinking strategies today.
Today was a major mixed bag of emotions for me. A lot of things happened during the day, that affected my mood. Not many of them where simple, but a few of them have been burned into my mind recently.
I've been thinking about this post all through the day, because of each of them. I need to rant. I'm going to structure it, and although this first bit won't make sense, I need to get it off my chest right away. It's digging at me.
I tried to be perfect
But nothing was worth it
I don’t believe it makes me real
I thought it’d be easy
But no one believes me
I meant all the things I said
He's such an arrogant bastard. "I was just going to mooch around Andrew till he offered me a lift." I mean, the train station is totally in walking distance. Don't assume I'm going to offer you something, I wouldn't of minded if you'd asked politely instead of saying it behind my back. What if I'd said No? Then what would you do? I'm not just a doormatt that you can ignore most of the time and then just stamp all over when you need something from me.
If you believe it’s in my soul
I’d say all the words that I know
Just to see if it would show
That I’m trying to let you know
That I’m better off on my own
I got up late again this morning. I really wish I could be a morning person, it would make my life just that much simpler. But, alas. Quickly downing a small drink and eating some bread I dashed into the car to get into school and see myles and tom waiting together. Not saying a word. One word raced through my mind, Sam says it a lot in these situations. Wonderful. We started up a conversation and eventually the others arrived including Sam. Then the bell went, and we seperated. I was walking away from reception with Tom, we still go with Myles as he fetches the register from the slot. Tim passed us and was like 'You do know your form's register is there?' I was in disbelief. It's NEVER there, but apparently it was today. I grabbed it and we headed to form.
Form was odd. I messed with Sir's head, because he annoyed me. After brooding over it last night, the first thing he said to me when I got in
'So can you definatly come tonight?' Ticked off, an idea formed.
'Oh shit! I forgot to tell you! My mum's got this massive job tonight and I can't come! I'm sorryyyy...' His eyes widened but his smile remained.
'Are you serious?' Panick in his voice now.
'Nope!' I laughed, and he swore at me several times before I settled into my seat and he took the register. It was an improvement atleast, then he put on his music and started singing along, which I lol'ed at.
This place is so empty
My thoughts are so tempting
I don’t know how it got so bad
Sometimes it’s so crazy
That nothing can save me
But it’s the only thing that I have
ICT Core was just annoying. Myles told Chris that I'd said Chris was so far up himself that his Adam's apple is his own nose. Gee, thanks Myles. So I had an hour of doing work quickly whilst Chris listed my many flaws. Wonderful. It was alright in the end though, because I realized just how much further than him I am, even though he's attended two catch up sessions.
ICT Standard cheered me up a bit, as Sam managed to find me a tutorial so that I could insert a music clip into my website so I could finally rescue my first class system and be able to create outgoing messages again. I populated a couple of pages and was pretty much finished with that as the bell went. I'll probably be 'gathering evidence' next lesson.
Break was alright, but the old bag told me to get something to read. She also told me she got my reply about being able to come to the lunch today, which I'd emailed her about after rescueing first class. Sam took the mick of how I'd grabbed a book on the mysteries of the world and I lol'ed with him, before the bell went and we parted ways to history. I took a small jibe at Sam, saying that I was keeping my christmas secrets too, before heading to class. History, I went to go photocopy some stuff for Miss Colley, and this woman was struggling with this massive box of stuff so I offered a hand and I carried the box and she carried the bit of paper to her car, then she gave me the paper back and I rushed to repographics to make the copies. The rest of history was just a bit boring really; I could hear myles moaning behind me to Tom Watts, who obviously did not care about myles's ramblings. At all.
If you believe it’s in my soul
I’d say all the words that I know
Just to see if it would show
That I’m trying to let you know
That I’m better off on my own
Afternoon form was alright. Didn't really talk to Sir much, just chatted to Alistair. Didn't really pay attention to what he was saying, but it was alright. He's not so annoying this week; but I just jinxed it, didn't I? >_<
Maths was alright. We had a ticklist and we had to rate how confident we were on all the stuff we covered, so I was perfectly honest and said that I found perfecting squares fine in the lesson but when I tried it for homework I completely fucked up and mindblanked. We watched hotfuzz and stuff at the same time, which was pretty cool.
English we watched GhostBusters and I forgot my english redraft. Which I spent ages on yesterday. <_< Oh well, I had more important things on my mind last night and this morning I was in a total rush. I'll bring it in tommorow, for definate. I'm fairly happy with the essay as it stands.
On my own
I tried to be perfect
It just wasn’t worth it
Nothing could ever be so wrong
It’s hard to believe me
It never gets easy
I guess I knew that all along
I had an hour and a half to burn so I went back to the RE department hoping to get a second to chat to sir alone, but no such luck; he was already in Miss Knagg's room. I didn't mind that much though, I had no idea what I was going to say. I faked a text message and pulled the whole 'I actually just got a text saying I can't come tonight!' he fell for it. Again. He started cursing going 'What am I going to do!?!?' I laughed and he just looked up and realized I was joking. But it seemed like we were back to normal so Miss Knaggs, Thompson and I just chatted about the concert for a while before they left to go navigate their way to the church; I went to town and bought an oreo milkshake and a festive bake pasty or something before heading to the church myself.
If you believe it’s in my soul
I’d say all the words that I know
Just to see if it would show
That I’m trying to let you know
That I’m better off on my own
Before the concert Thompson was panicking because one of the staff he'd asked to read wasn't turning up. I offered to do the reading if she didn't turn up so he handed me a copy and she turned up at the last minute. I was glad tbh, I didn't want to read again. Me and Thompson had a bit of a laugh taking the mick out of each other and shit and miss told us to stop bullying each other, which we found funny.
Cutting to the concert itself, half way through the singing Nat slowly put his hand on my arse. Fighting back the urge to kill him for groping me in a church, I carried on singing. When he tried to do it again I ended up holding his hand so he placed it on his ass. ¬¬. He's not even gay. A while later and it was time for my reading, and I stumbled quite a lot. I had to walk past Thompson's seat to get back to mine, and he was quite involved with it, introducing stuff and crap, but he didn't even look at me as I went past. I felt bad for mucking up on the reading.
Now to explain the beggining bit. Before the concert Miss Knaggs was worrying that she didn't have a way other than walking to get to the station, which was a good 30 minute walk in the dark. I offered her a lift with my family because we go past the station; my mum sent me a text back saying it was fine and all arranged. Sir wasn't talking directly too me, but he never exactly left my side. He was talking to Mr. Reed when I was talking to John, then I moved over to my mum and he left Mr. Reed and talked to Zack, who was right next to me. I ignored it, then when my mum said it was time to go I went and got Miss Knaggs saying 'C'mon, we're giving you a lift remember?' She seemed very grateful and asked Thompson how he was getting home. Neither of them can drive, you see. "I was just going to mooch around Andrew till he offered me a lift." This actually really ticked me off. First off, he hadn't said a word to me since the end of the concert and he didn't mention it when I was offering Knaggs a lift either. He could have just asked, and I would have gladly said yes. But no, he decided he would stick close by me in hopes I'd offer him a lift. Even though I was mad I hid it fairly well (imo, anyway) and said 'Do you want a lift, Sir?' the journey to the station with them in the car was odd. My mum and Thompson sat in the front, Me and Knaggs were in the back. I was still in a bit of a mood about the reading muckups, and shiz so I was a bit quiet. Miss and me had a brief conversation before they both got out. He just got out of the car, got his bags, said thanks to my mum and walked off. Oh, bye to you too. Miss Knaggs was all thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou I shall see you tommorow Andy and I look forward to seeing you on parents evening Mrs. King.
I know he's been under pressure recently, but come on! There are limits.
Music: Pieces - Sum 41.
I've embedded the lyrics into the post, because it really fits my thinking strategies today.
Today was a major mixed bag of emotions for me. A lot of things happened during the day, that affected my mood. Not many of them where simple, but a few of them have been burned into my mind recently.
I've been thinking about this post all through the day, because of each of them. I need to rant. I'm going to structure it, and although this first bit won't make sense, I need to get it off my chest right away. It's digging at me.
I tried to be perfect
But nothing was worth it
I don’t believe it makes me real
I thought it’d be easy
But no one believes me
I meant all the things I said
He's such an arrogant bastard. "I was just going to mooch around Andrew till he offered me a lift." I mean, the train station is totally in walking distance. Don't assume I'm going to offer you something, I wouldn't of minded if you'd asked politely instead of saying it behind my back. What if I'd said No? Then what would you do? I'm not just a doormatt that you can ignore most of the time and then just stamp all over when you need something from me.
If you believe it’s in my soul
I’d say all the words that I know
Just to see if it would show
That I’m trying to let you know
That I’m better off on my own
I got up late again this morning. I really wish I could be a morning person, it would make my life just that much simpler. But, alas. Quickly downing a small drink and eating some bread I dashed into the car to get into school and see myles and tom waiting together. Not saying a word. One word raced through my mind, Sam says it a lot in these situations. Wonderful. We started up a conversation and eventually the others arrived including Sam. Then the bell went, and we seperated. I was walking away from reception with Tom, we still go with Myles as he fetches the register from the slot. Tim passed us and was like 'You do know your form's register is there?' I was in disbelief. It's NEVER there, but apparently it was today. I grabbed it and we headed to form.
Form was odd. I messed with Sir's head, because he annoyed me. After brooding over it last night, the first thing he said to me when I got in
'So can you definatly come tonight?' Ticked off, an idea formed.
'Oh shit! I forgot to tell you! My mum's got this massive job tonight and I can't come! I'm sorryyyy...' His eyes widened but his smile remained.
'Are you serious?' Panick in his voice now.
'Nope!' I laughed, and he swore at me several times before I settled into my seat and he took the register. It was an improvement atleast, then he put on his music and started singing along, which I lol'ed at.
This place is so empty
My thoughts are so tempting
I don’t know how it got so bad
Sometimes it’s so crazy
That nothing can save me
But it’s the only thing that I have
ICT Core was just annoying. Myles told Chris that I'd said Chris was so far up himself that his Adam's apple is his own nose. Gee, thanks Myles. So I had an hour of doing work quickly whilst Chris listed my many flaws. Wonderful. It was alright in the end though, because I realized just how much further than him I am, even though he's attended two catch up sessions.
ICT Standard cheered me up a bit, as Sam managed to find me a tutorial so that I could insert a music clip into my website so I could finally rescue my first class system and be able to create outgoing messages again. I populated a couple of pages and was pretty much finished with that as the bell went. I'll probably be 'gathering evidence' next lesson.
Break was alright, but the old bag told me to get something to read. She also told me she got my reply about being able to come to the lunch today, which I'd emailed her about after rescueing first class. Sam took the mick of how I'd grabbed a book on the mysteries of the world and I lol'ed with him, before the bell went and we parted ways to history. I took a small jibe at Sam, saying that I was keeping my christmas secrets too, before heading to class. History, I went to go photocopy some stuff for Miss Colley, and this woman was struggling with this massive box of stuff so I offered a hand and I carried the box and she carried the bit of paper to her car, then she gave me the paper back and I rushed to repographics to make the copies. The rest of history was just a bit boring really; I could hear myles moaning behind me to Tom Watts, who obviously did not care about myles's ramblings. At all.
If you believe it’s in my soul
I’d say all the words that I know
Just to see if it would show
That I’m trying to let you know
That I’m better off on my own
Afternoon form was alright. Didn't really talk to Sir much, just chatted to Alistair. Didn't really pay attention to what he was saying, but it was alright. He's not so annoying this week; but I just jinxed it, didn't I? >_<
Maths was alright. We had a ticklist and we had to rate how confident we were on all the stuff we covered, so I was perfectly honest and said that I found perfecting squares fine in the lesson but when I tried it for homework I completely fucked up and mindblanked. We watched hotfuzz and stuff at the same time, which was pretty cool.
English we watched GhostBusters and I forgot my english redraft. Which I spent ages on yesterday. <_< Oh well, I had more important things on my mind last night and this morning I was in a total rush. I'll bring it in tommorow, for definate. I'm fairly happy with the essay as it stands.
On my own
I tried to be perfect
It just wasn’t worth it
Nothing could ever be so wrong
It’s hard to believe me
It never gets easy
I guess I knew that all along
I had an hour and a half to burn so I went back to the RE department hoping to get a second to chat to sir alone, but no such luck; he was already in Miss Knagg's room. I didn't mind that much though, I had no idea what I was going to say. I faked a text message and pulled the whole 'I actually just got a text saying I can't come tonight!' he fell for it. Again. He started cursing going 'What am I going to do!?!?' I laughed and he just looked up and realized I was joking. But it seemed like we were back to normal so Miss Knaggs, Thompson and I just chatted about the concert for a while before they left to go navigate their way to the church; I went to town and bought an oreo milkshake and a festive bake pasty or something before heading to the church myself.
If you believe it’s in my soul
I’d say all the words that I know
Just to see if it would show
That I’m trying to let you know
That I’m better off on my own
Before the concert Thompson was panicking because one of the staff he'd asked to read wasn't turning up. I offered to do the reading if she didn't turn up so he handed me a copy and she turned up at the last minute. I was glad tbh, I didn't want to read again. Me and Thompson had a bit of a laugh taking the mick out of each other and shit and miss told us to stop bullying each other, which we found funny.
Cutting to the concert itself, half way through the singing Nat slowly put his hand on my arse. Fighting back the urge to kill him for groping me in a church, I carried on singing. When he tried to do it again I ended up holding his hand so he placed it on his ass. ¬¬. He's not even gay. A while later and it was time for my reading, and I stumbled quite a lot. I had to walk past Thompson's seat to get back to mine, and he was quite involved with it, introducing stuff and crap, but he didn't even look at me as I went past. I felt bad for mucking up on the reading.
Now to explain the beggining bit. Before the concert Miss Knaggs was worrying that she didn't have a way other than walking to get to the station, which was a good 30 minute walk in the dark. I offered her a lift with my family because we go past the station; my mum sent me a text back saying it was fine and all arranged. Sir wasn't talking directly too me, but he never exactly left my side. He was talking to Mr. Reed when I was talking to John, then I moved over to my mum and he left Mr. Reed and talked to Zack, who was right next to me. I ignored it, then when my mum said it was time to go I went and got Miss Knaggs saying 'C'mon, we're giving you a lift remember?' She seemed very grateful and asked Thompson how he was getting home. Neither of them can drive, you see. "I was just going to mooch around Andrew till he offered me a lift." This actually really ticked me off. First off, he hadn't said a word to me since the end of the concert and he didn't mention it when I was offering Knaggs a lift either. He could have just asked, and I would have gladly said yes. But no, he decided he would stick close by me in hopes I'd offer him a lift. Even though I was mad I hid it fairly well (imo, anyway) and said 'Do you want a lift, Sir?' the journey to the station with them in the car was odd. My mum and Thompson sat in the front, Me and Knaggs were in the back. I was still in a bit of a mood about the reading muckups, and shiz so I was a bit quiet. Miss and me had a brief conversation before they both got out. He just got out of the car, got his bags, said thanks to my mum and walked off. Oh, bye to you too. Miss Knaggs was all thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou I shall see you tommorow Andy and I look forward to seeing you on parents evening Mrs. King.
I know he's been under pressure recently, but come on! There are limits.
Monday, December 15, 2008
Steamy Mirrors
Mood: Reflective/Slightly down.
Music: Save me - Shinedown
Showers are a great place to think about stuff, because it's just you and the water; in a vunerable way. You can be yourself by your own. I've had an odd day, and with recent events I really needed to think. Two of my relationships are frizzled at the moment. One is with my chemistry teacher, who thinks that I dislike her teaching style and offered to move me to another class; even though she's one of my best teachers. The other, well the relationship is a little more complex, but he's a teacher too.
I was more obsessive about the second one whilst I was in the shower, and I played over a scenario from a million different angles and all of them ended up with one of two outcomes. Either A) Him thinking I was off my rocker and shunning me or B) me losing an arguement and shunning each other. Neither of these situations are ones I want to be in, but I feel like I've got to talk to him. Hopefully he'll notice something is up. If it's not, I'll write it and give it to him as a letter or summat.
Today wasn't an amazing day. It wasn't dreadfully shite either, but it just wasn't good for me.
Music: Save me - Shinedown
Showers are a great place to think about stuff, because it's just you and the water; in a vunerable way. You can be yourself by your own. I've had an odd day, and with recent events I really needed to think. Two of my relationships are frizzled at the moment. One is with my chemistry teacher, who thinks that I dislike her teaching style and offered to move me to another class; even though she's one of my best teachers. The other, well the relationship is a little more complex, but he's a teacher too.
I was more obsessive about the second one whilst I was in the shower, and I played over a scenario from a million different angles and all of them ended up with one of two outcomes. Either A) Him thinking I was off my rocker and shunning me or B) me losing an arguement and shunning each other. Neither of these situations are ones I want to be in, but I feel like I've got to talk to him. Hopefully he'll notice something is up. If it's not, I'll write it and give it to him as a letter or summat.
Today wasn't an amazing day. It wasn't dreadfully shite either, but it just wasn't good for me.
Sunday, December 14, 2008
Grandmaster Guilt
Mood: Guilty as hell.
Music: Forever - Chris Brown.
I did the massive quest on runescape today. Took me like all day. Didn't do macbeth essay redraft, will do tommorow after work. Sam seemed annoyed at me over it, because I told him he should do his. :S I feel really bad now. Plus, I'm going on a trip until lunch tommorow and we don't know specifically when we'll be back but it's likely sam will be on his own at break and lunch. But I'll be with him in PE, so hopefully that'll cheer him up if he's in a bad mood.
Did a bit more work on his present to ease the guilt, but it didn't do much. I spent about an hour on it, and am still not finished. Will finish over the next few days, I'll probably be giving it to him when he sleeps over friday. Can't wait for that, actually.
Tommorow should be good though, so I should probably head to bed soon.
Music: Forever - Chris Brown.
I did the massive quest on runescape today. Took me like all day. Didn't do macbeth essay redraft, will do tommorow after work. Sam seemed annoyed at me over it, because I told him he should do his. :S I feel really bad now. Plus, I'm going on a trip until lunch tommorow and we don't know specifically when we'll be back but it's likely sam will be on his own at break and lunch. But I'll be with him in PE, so hopefully that'll cheer him up if he's in a bad mood.
Did a bit more work on his present to ease the guilt, but it didn't do much. I spent about an hour on it, and am still not finished. Will finish over the next few days, I'll probably be giving it to him when he sleeps over friday. Can't wait for that, actually.
Tommorow should be good though, so I should probably head to bed soon.
Friday, December 12, 2008
Recent Requests
See the alliteration? Do you see it?
;)
Mood: Happy, busy again.
Music: On The Radio - Regina Spektor. (It was the song for PSHE, which was jokes at the time. Don't judge me.)
I finally managed to pry myself from the warmth of my covers after like 6 attempts this morning, I'd left the windows open so it was FREEZING in my room. I quickly showered and ate before my mum gave me a lift to school. I got to school and had an urgent conversation with John, before poking Sam to make him aware of my presence, as he hadn't spotted me. I thought of not telling him I was there, but that would be mean. :P
The bell went so Tom, Myles and I seperated from the others and went to get the register, but apparently Myles and his form have moved their form room, so he isn't going to be walking with me anymore. I don't really mind, haha. So Tom & I headed to form and I got in the door to be greeted by Thompson 'OH THANK GOD, YOU CAN DO THE READING AT THE CONCERT!' I took the piece of paper, and it had a small note saying he'd emailed me the back up copy (on the school emails) and I moaned about how he'd assumed I'd do it and not asked anyone else in the four days I'd been away; but I didn't really care.
First was PSHE and Alistair was reeeeeaaaaally annoying until Sir told him to shut up or move to the back and then started playing music which I liked and Alistair didn't, which improved my mood vastly. He just shut up and sat there. It was BLISS.
I got my short report a couple of days late because I wasn't here. It looks awesome in my mind. I've got targets of 3 A*'s, 7 A's and a B. But the B is in french, and I only wanted a B anyway. This improved my mood even more.
Physics was second and that was all good. We went over homework that I wasn't there to have it set, so he just let me write the answers as they said them so that was all cool. Thing is, with Mr. Matthews, he relates the questions to whatever is on his mind and he just lectures on each one. So going over the homework took pretty much the entire lesson.
Break I had to go to the drama block as I was summoned by Miss Holyoake, even though I really didn't want to go, I went anyway. She handed us an envelope and in it was a sheet with a couple of photos on saying well done, and a letter from the headmaster saying he thought the performance was brilliant. lier. As soon as she let us go I bailed and went up to the library where it was full, but I gestured to Sam, so he came out with Myles + John. Then Myles got his scarf nicked. Lets just say... Hilarity insued.
Third was biology, and it was just sooo funny. Aran who sits next to me uses one of those clear pencil case things that are 'approved for examination usage' and he's had it for ages. It had a very slight tear below the zip and when tubby yanked it, the rip widened. Tubby, Chris and Andy noticed the rip and by the end of the lesson Aran's pencil case consisted of the zip, and the string that used to connect the pencil case. We all found it bloody funny, including the teacher, and Aran didn't mind. It's christmas soon anyway, he can ask for one. :P
Lunch I was forced to go to choir, and it wasn't that bad. Me, Nat Pickett and Goldsbrough started pissing around and Torrent wasn't exactly happy because the concert is on... Tuesday? Anyway, we tried to do it all serious and half way through the song Natt spanked me really lightly and I burst out laughing. Torrent was like >:@ so I yelled 'He felt up my ARSE!' lets just say the singing stopped after that. the laughter however, didn't. ;)
French was okay really, we just went over a load of stuff that I've missed a load of. It was my last lesson of the term, because I'm missing the monday one because of a science trip. :D French was a bit boring but Ben and I managed to make it out relitively unscathed. Ben told me how Mcqueen had given our english essays back and we had to hand the final draft in on tuesday so in between french and P.E I dashed to her room to get mine back.
P.E I got hit in the chest and the back by the ball. A lot. Tubby is really annoying in PE, he's just immature. I managed to have a bit of a laugh and join in aswell but I never bring trainers so he told me to do it barefoot. MY FEET WERE FREEEEZING. I walked Sam to reception then on my way back to my root met up with Alex in the year above me who I'm good friends with and lives near me so we walked together and just laughed around a lot.
It's been a pretty funny day already, and I've got this crappy stagecoach party to go to, to make it even better! XD
Things achieved today off my to do list
Went to choir.
Finished all LOTF connections.
Got the reading piece for concert so I can practice.
Got english essay back.
my main points of to do list
Revise for biology (it's a mock of the mock, I think :S) test on wednesday. I've got like 50 pages to read over cause it's a test on the entire unit.
Revise for chemistry (it's the same deal as biology) test on wednesday. I was told by Aran about this, so I would have some warning.
Redraft my English essay.
Do the last question of History coursework.
Get everything together in regards to xmas presents and cards.
It's all gooooood ;)
;)
Mood: Happy, busy again.
Music: On The Radio - Regina Spektor. (It was the song for PSHE, which was jokes at the time. Don't judge me.)
I finally managed to pry myself from the warmth of my covers after like 6 attempts this morning, I'd left the windows open so it was FREEZING in my room. I quickly showered and ate before my mum gave me a lift to school. I got to school and had an urgent conversation with John, before poking Sam to make him aware of my presence, as he hadn't spotted me. I thought of not telling him I was there, but that would be mean. :P
The bell went so Tom, Myles and I seperated from the others and went to get the register, but apparently Myles and his form have moved their form room, so he isn't going to be walking with me anymore. I don't really mind, haha. So Tom & I headed to form and I got in the door to be greeted by Thompson 'OH THANK GOD, YOU CAN DO THE READING AT THE CONCERT!' I took the piece of paper, and it had a small note saying he'd emailed me the back up copy (on the school emails) and I moaned about how he'd assumed I'd do it and not asked anyone else in the four days I'd been away; but I didn't really care.
First was PSHE and Alistair was reeeeeaaaaally annoying until Sir told him to shut up or move to the back and then started playing music which I liked and Alistair didn't, which improved my mood vastly. He just shut up and sat there. It was BLISS.
I got my short report a couple of days late because I wasn't here. It looks awesome in my mind. I've got targets of 3 A*'s, 7 A's and a B. But the B is in french, and I only wanted a B anyway. This improved my mood even more.
Physics was second and that was all good. We went over homework that I wasn't there to have it set, so he just let me write the answers as they said them so that was all cool. Thing is, with Mr. Matthews, he relates the questions to whatever is on his mind and he just lectures on each one. So going over the homework took pretty much the entire lesson.
Break I had to go to the drama block as I was summoned by Miss Holyoake, even though I really didn't want to go, I went anyway. She handed us an envelope and in it was a sheet with a couple of photos on saying well done, and a letter from the headmaster saying he thought the performance was brilliant. lier. As soon as she let us go I bailed and went up to the library where it was full, but I gestured to Sam, so he came out with Myles + John. Then Myles got his scarf nicked. Lets just say... Hilarity insued.
Third was biology, and it was just sooo funny. Aran who sits next to me uses one of those clear pencil case things that are 'approved for examination usage' and he's had it for ages. It had a very slight tear below the zip and when tubby yanked it, the rip widened. Tubby, Chris and Andy noticed the rip and by the end of the lesson Aran's pencil case consisted of the zip, and the string that used to connect the pencil case. We all found it bloody funny, including the teacher, and Aran didn't mind. It's christmas soon anyway, he can ask for one. :P
Lunch I was forced to go to choir, and it wasn't that bad. Me, Nat Pickett and Goldsbrough started pissing around and Torrent wasn't exactly happy because the concert is on... Tuesday? Anyway, we tried to do it all serious and half way through the song Natt spanked me really lightly and I burst out laughing. Torrent was like >:@ so I yelled 'He felt up my ARSE!' lets just say the singing stopped after that. the laughter however, didn't. ;)
French was okay really, we just went over a load of stuff that I've missed a load of. It was my last lesson of the term, because I'm missing the monday one because of a science trip. :D French was a bit boring but Ben and I managed to make it out relitively unscathed. Ben told me how Mcqueen had given our english essays back and we had to hand the final draft in on tuesday so in between french and P.E I dashed to her room to get mine back.
P.E I got hit in the chest and the back by the ball. A lot. Tubby is really annoying in PE, he's just immature. I managed to have a bit of a laugh and join in aswell but I never bring trainers so he told me to do it barefoot. MY FEET WERE FREEEEZING. I walked Sam to reception then on my way back to my root met up with Alex in the year above me who I'm good friends with and lives near me so we walked together and just laughed around a lot.
It's been a pretty funny day already, and I've got this crappy stagecoach party to go to, to make it even better! XD
Things achieved today off my to do list
Went to choir.
Finished all LOTF connections.
Got the reading piece for concert so I can practice.
Got english essay back.
my main points of to do list
Revise for biology (it's a mock of the mock, I think :S) test on wednesday. I've got like 50 pages to read over cause it's a test on the entire unit.
Revise for chemistry (it's the same deal as biology) test on wednesday. I was told by Aran about this, so I would have some warning.
Redraft my English essay.
Do the last question of History coursework.
Get everything together in regards to xmas presents and cards.
It's all gooooood ;)
Thursday, December 11, 2008
New-found Confidence.
PART I
Mood: Recovered, kinda guilty.
Music: Black & Gold - Sam Sparrow.
I feel bad for not going into school today, I just couldn't bring myself to do it. I'm definatly going in tommorow, I have to!
I tried this quest that I've been stuck on since I quit the game, I got 2/3 of the second bit done and died... twice, so I've given up on it. I didn't lose much, but its very frustrating.
Edit: PART II
Mood: Much better than previous
Music: Smile - Lilly Allen
Today was good. I had a lazy day until around 5, where I got talking to my friends properly again. Charlie is a guy I know online but we haven't spoken much and we had a short conversation. Me and Sam managed to have one of our longer chats again, I got what I needed from Tom and Myles; but I didn't get to talk to John. Who cares? I'll get that base covered tommorow. That sounded so wrong in my mind. Anyway, moving on... I'm in such a better mood. All my problems seemed to have faded away, I feel much better and healthier; and anyone that has a problem with me? Then that's their problem. So I have a load of spots? You know what, who cares? Their natural, and they'll fade over the years.
I'm a good person. I may not be amazingly clever, or amazingly good at anything in particular, but I'm okay and there are people much worse than me. Plus, I have amazing friends. They've got my back when it matters the most.
I'm back in the swing of things :D
Mood: Recovered, kinda guilty.
Music: Black & Gold - Sam Sparrow.
I feel bad for not going into school today, I just couldn't bring myself to do it. I'm definatly going in tommorow, I have to!
I tried this quest that I've been stuck on since I quit the game, I got 2/3 of the second bit done and died... twice, so I've given up on it. I didn't lose much, but its very frustrating.
Edit: PART II
Mood: Much better than previous
Music: Smile - Lilly Allen
Today was good. I had a lazy day until around 5, where I got talking to my friends properly again. Charlie is a guy I know online but we haven't spoken much and we had a short conversation. Me and Sam managed to have one of our longer chats again, I got what I needed from Tom and Myles; but I didn't get to talk to John. Who cares? I'll get that base covered tommorow. That sounded so wrong in my mind. Anyway, moving on... I'm in such a better mood. All my problems seemed to have faded away, I feel much better and healthier; and anyone that has a problem with me? Then that's their problem. So I have a load of spots? You know what, who cares? Their natural, and they'll fade over the years.
I'm a good person. I may not be amazingly clever, or amazingly good at anything in particular, but I'm okay and there are people much worse than me. Plus, I have amazing friends. They've got my back when it matters the most.
I'm back in the swing of things :D
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
Cold Pancakes
Mood: Better, feeling less ill.
Music: Tell Her - Del Amitri
I love the feeling of being able to wake up all alone in the house, because I always look hideous in the mornings, and there is no one around to judge me. I got up properly around 11:15, and after devouring a delicious cold pancake with lemon juice + sugar went on the computer. I logged onto this old game I used to play, and played for a while, before swapping to the laptop and shnuggling under my duvet on the sofa, whilst watching scrubs and carrying on playing the game.
It was actually pretty fun, a lot of my old mates have quit aswell, but there are a few people out there who remember me, and a couple of proper mates. After about two hours it got a bit boring. I broke out an old box of christmas cards and started writing them, trying to put something special in each of them; but I kinda ran out of willpower and for the people I didn't know so well I just put their name, a happy face, and 'From Andy x'. I feel bad, but it's better than nothing I suppose. I spent a little bit of time adding something to one of the only presents I managed to buy; I'm actually quite proud of it. It took me aaaages, and it's for a very special person. <3
Texted a couple of friends, and one of them got told off for texting in class but didn't care that I got them in trouble, so that was pretty cool. I should give Steph and extra special hug for being so cool next time I see her. Then my brother got home along with my mum, and with her crappy rules about computers when being ill I hid all trace of me being on it before deciding to phone Myles. I chatted to him for about an hour and had a laugh, until he had to go to dinner. Had tea (yummeh pizza) and my brother went to some concert at some school. I watched a bit more scrubs, went in the shower, and then just went on the computer. I don't think my mum cares anyway; she's seen me on it and didn't mention it.
I hope I get to go back to school tommorow, I miss the guys a bit.
Oh mah god. I'm so unhealthy. I had like a load of junk food today; and I'm meant to be ill. Meh, whatcha gon' do?
Music: Tell Her - Del Amitri
I love the feeling of being able to wake up all alone in the house, because I always look hideous in the mornings, and there is no one around to judge me. I got up properly around 11:15, and after devouring a delicious cold pancake with lemon juice + sugar went on the computer. I logged onto this old game I used to play, and played for a while, before swapping to the laptop and shnuggling under my duvet on the sofa, whilst watching scrubs and carrying on playing the game.
It was actually pretty fun, a lot of my old mates have quit aswell, but there are a few people out there who remember me, and a couple of proper mates. After about two hours it got a bit boring. I broke out an old box of christmas cards and started writing them, trying to put something special in each of them; but I kinda ran out of willpower and for the people I didn't know so well I just put their name, a happy face, and 'From Andy x'. I feel bad, but it's better than nothing I suppose. I spent a little bit of time adding something to one of the only presents I managed to buy; I'm actually quite proud of it. It took me aaaages, and it's for a very special person. <3
Texted a couple of friends, and one of them got told off for texting in class but didn't care that I got them in trouble, so that was pretty cool. I should give Steph and extra special hug for being so cool next time I see her. Then my brother got home along with my mum, and with her crappy rules about computers when being ill I hid all trace of me being on it before deciding to phone Myles. I chatted to him for about an hour and had a laugh, until he had to go to dinner. Had tea (yummeh pizza) and my brother went to some concert at some school. I watched a bit more scrubs, went in the shower, and then just went on the computer. I don't think my mum cares anyway; she's seen me on it and didn't mention it.
I hope I get to go back to school tommorow, I miss the guys a bit.
Oh mah god. I'm so unhealthy. I had like a load of junk food today; and I'm meant to be ill. Meh, whatcha gon' do?
Tuesday, December 09, 2008
Boring days
Mood: Bored, have headache.
Music: In The Sun - Joseph Arthur
Did pretty much nothing today. Talked to Sam for a bit after he got home but he was probably kicked off by his dad or something because he didn't even say goodbye; Sam's not the kind of person to do that deliberatly.
In a bit of a crap mood really, because I feel really limited at the moment. There's nothing really I can do and I have a mahoosive headache. Might phone one of the guys, I dunno if I can be bothered...
Music: In The Sun - Joseph Arthur
Did pretty much nothing today. Talked to Sam for a bit after he got home but he was probably kicked off by his dad or something because he didn't even say goodbye; Sam's not the kind of person to do that deliberatly.
In a bit of a crap mood really, because I feel really limited at the moment. There's nothing really I can do and I have a mahoosive headache. Might phone one of the guys, I dunno if I can be bothered...
Monday, December 08, 2008
Internal Delays
Mood: Not unhappy, but still pretty crappy.
Music: Collide - Howie Day
This song was played on One Tree Hill, which is an okay program I watch when it's on and I have litterally nothing else to do, and it really spoke to me today. I've been having a rough period recently, and it just seemed to help. I guess it's just a thing for me, but a lot of songs connect with me in my certain moods; and this is definately going on the list. I say that as if I have a list. Which I don't. I should start one.
I felt quite rough last night so I made a point of mentioning it to my mum, as she's a bit of a suspicious person who is unlikely to believe me in the mornings if I say I feel ill. She knows I'm not a morning person, but at night she seems to take it on board. Then I went to bed, and really struggled to get to sleep. Woke up in the middle of the night, sweaty as fuck, I had a nightmare. D: I dreamt I was in this glassy cage, and it kept shrinking, and all my friends walked past ignoring me. Then some people I hate walked past and started laughing at me and throwing stones. One broke the cage and I woke up. I went to the bathroom and my stomache ache kicked in as I washed my face, and I forced myself back to sleep again. My mum came in this morning and I said how I was really tired and she said she'd phone school and my boss to say I wouldn't be coming in. I feel bad about missing so much work, because of lord of the flies and now being ill. Linda is probably ready to fire me right about now.
I got up again around 11:30, and no-one was home. I was feeling slightly better, but still a bit shit. I wasn't sure what time my mum was meant to be home, but I guessed she'd be home in about an hour because she'd take a bit of time after lunch off to come see me because she has the right to do that. I spent half an hour on RuneScape just pissing around with my old character, it's so different on freeplay. Don't judge me, there was nothing better to do. Then I logged everything showing I went on the computer out (my mum's got this odd theory that computers make you sicker when you're ill) and settled down with my duvet infront of the TV. I watched 'The Parent Trap' which is an amazing film, and then a few other programs. Mum came and went, and when my cleaner left I went back on the computer. Sam was online so I was cheered up slightly and we're still talking now. I looked in the mirror, and spots have taken over my face. It's disgusting. I'm ugggleeeeeeee. :( Then all my flaws and faults kept popping up in my head, and I didn't want to bring it up until Sam asked and I just let go and told him everything.
He's probably long facing at how needy I am.
I can't get relationships and friendships and how their progressing out of my head right now. Like why does this girl have a crush on me? There is nothing attractive about me! Or why do certain people mean so much to me? Or, why do I mean so little to them?
Most of all, why couldn't life just be simple?
Music: Collide - Howie Day
This song was played on One Tree Hill, which is an okay program I watch when it's on and I have litterally nothing else to do, and it really spoke to me today. I've been having a rough period recently, and it just seemed to help. I guess it's just a thing for me, but a lot of songs connect with me in my certain moods; and this is definately going on the list. I say that as if I have a list. Which I don't. I should start one.
I felt quite rough last night so I made a point of mentioning it to my mum, as she's a bit of a suspicious person who is unlikely to believe me in the mornings if I say I feel ill. She knows I'm not a morning person, but at night she seems to take it on board. Then I went to bed, and really struggled to get to sleep. Woke up in the middle of the night, sweaty as fuck, I had a nightmare. D: I dreamt I was in this glassy cage, and it kept shrinking, and all my friends walked past ignoring me. Then some people I hate walked past and started laughing at me and throwing stones. One broke the cage and I woke up. I went to the bathroom and my stomache ache kicked in as I washed my face, and I forced myself back to sleep again. My mum came in this morning and I said how I was really tired and she said she'd phone school and my boss to say I wouldn't be coming in. I feel bad about missing so much work, because of lord of the flies and now being ill. Linda is probably ready to fire me right about now.
I got up again around 11:30, and no-one was home. I was feeling slightly better, but still a bit shit. I wasn't sure what time my mum was meant to be home, but I guessed she'd be home in about an hour because she'd take a bit of time after lunch off to come see me because she has the right to do that. I spent half an hour on RuneScape just pissing around with my old character, it's so different on freeplay. Don't judge me, there was nothing better to do. Then I logged everything showing I went on the computer out (my mum's got this odd theory that computers make you sicker when you're ill) and settled down with my duvet infront of the TV. I watched 'The Parent Trap' which is an amazing film, and then a few other programs. Mum came and went, and when my cleaner left I went back on the computer. Sam was online so I was cheered up slightly and we're still talking now. I looked in the mirror, and spots have taken over my face. It's disgusting. I'm ugggleeeeeeee. :( Then all my flaws and faults kept popping up in my head, and I didn't want to bring it up until Sam asked and I just let go and told him everything.
He's probably long facing at how needy I am.
I can't get relationships and friendships and how their progressing out of my head right now. Like why does this girl have a crush on me? There is nothing attractive about me! Or why do certain people mean so much to me? Or, why do I mean so little to them?
Most of all, why couldn't life just be simple?
Sunday, December 07, 2008
Bleary Vision
Mood: Recovering, slowly.
Music: The Nicest Thing - Kate Nash
This song really speaks to me a lot, because I've felt the feeling quite a few times. Especially recently...
Christmas is meant to be a good time of year, hopefully it'll get better soon.
I got up around noon today, and made some crumpets. Pissed around at home all day, got most of my homework done but I didn't really have the time needed to go on the computer, due to my family being internet whores. Lol. Nothing amazing happened today, except I finally got the achievement for owning 2.5 million gold's worth of real estate in albion.
My family is really wierd. We don't really get on amazingly well, except we occasionally have really funny moments that just have us spliiting our sides.
My mum really got on my nerves today. For a fourteen year old son, my mum is very.. aged. She's closer to retirement than parties, shall we say. She was just nagging at me all day making me do this or that or just generally getting in the way when I was trying to do stuff. Don't get me wrong, I love my mum and I have a great deal of respect for her, but our personalities clash. A lot. She doesn't really understand me. Like with NaNoWriMo, she just didn't get the attraction for me, she was really doubtful of it being a good idea.
My dad is okay, he's quite impatient and two years older than my mum. Ever since he came back from prison and we had a major arguement, we've had a fairly artificial relationship. We basically fake a perfect father/son relationship just so that we don't fight again. I do like my dad a lot though, even though he hides it, he does care.
My brother and sister are almost like friends really. My sister is hardly around anymore, but we get on fairly well. She's a very tolerant person and is always happy to talk about anything. My brother understands me more than most of my family, but we still argue quite a lot.
I did nothing today and I'm still knackered...
I'm feeling a bit stronger than yesterday, and I'm hoping to be back on my feet tommorow. It's just... Nothing amazing happened to balance out yesterdays shite. :/
Music: The Nicest Thing - Kate Nash
This song really speaks to me a lot, because I've felt the feeling quite a few times. Especially recently...
Christmas is meant to be a good time of year, hopefully it'll get better soon.
I got up around noon today, and made some crumpets. Pissed around at home all day, got most of my homework done but I didn't really have the time needed to go on the computer, due to my family being internet whores. Lol. Nothing amazing happened today, except I finally got the achievement for owning 2.5 million gold's worth of real estate in albion.
My family is really wierd. We don't really get on amazingly well, except we occasionally have really funny moments that just have us spliiting our sides.
My mum really got on my nerves today. For a fourteen year old son, my mum is very.. aged. She's closer to retirement than parties, shall we say. She was just nagging at me all day making me do this or that or just generally getting in the way when I was trying to do stuff. Don't get me wrong, I love my mum and I have a great deal of respect for her, but our personalities clash. A lot. She doesn't really understand me. Like with NaNoWriMo, she just didn't get the attraction for me, she was really doubtful of it being a good idea.
My dad is okay, he's quite impatient and two years older than my mum. Ever since he came back from prison and we had a major arguement, we've had a fairly artificial relationship. We basically fake a perfect father/son relationship just so that we don't fight again. I do like my dad a lot though, even though he hides it, he does care.
My brother and sister are almost like friends really. My sister is hardly around anymore, but we get on fairly well. She's a very tolerant person and is always happy to talk about anything. My brother understands me more than most of my family, but we still argue quite a lot.
I did nothing today and I'm still knackered...
I'm feeling a bit stronger than yesterday, and I'm hoping to be back on my feet tommorow. It's just... Nothing amazing happened to balance out yesterdays shite. :/
Cracked Foundations
Mood: Hurt.
Music: Glasgow Love Theme - From love actually, don't know who plays it.
Today was a day of ups and downs, and the fact I'm still up at 00:30am proves that. I got up around 8, hurridly had a shower and was rushed out the door to go to dancing. Me and my dad made a bit of small talk in the car, then he parked up a bit early and told me that I should follow my heart when I'm choosing my career. I don't get what brought it on, but I just smiled and got out the car. I've been thinking about it quite a lot since he said it. He's right, and I will.
Tap, the teacher was running mega late, so we had a senior girl who I'm okay friends with called Zoey take the class with a random cd she'd been provided. The lesson was actually really fun, we were fitting our excersises to random pieces of music. We did double-triple timesteps to mambo number five, for example. Then at the end she challanged us to choreograph 2 counts of 8 using steps from our excersises, to 'Tragedy'. Mine turned out okay in the end, I quite liked it.
Modern however, was totally different. The teacher had arrived and all. My friends just didn't seem to be themselves, and didn't want to be with me in pairships. Which I found hurtful, because I'm not a bad dancer. I'm not the best in the class by a long shot, but I'm not the worst either. We then had to make up dances again in the last five minutes, but in groups. Lauren and Phillipa shunned me for god knows why, and Emily and Matt had already left to go to panto rehearsals. I didn't bother to ask the others and decided to make one on my own. It was okay I guess, but I was really hurt by the way Phillipa had reacted to me asking to go with them. We're okay friends, is the thing. No one really thought to ask me to join, and when the teacher said 'Who'll go first?' and I volunteered (just to get it out of the way) no one other than Phillipa and Lauren had realized. I did it, and everyone atleast pretended to like it. Then all the other groups went. Class ended and I got changed, then when I was invited into town by Lauren and Phillipa I said no, and they knew that I had to go at some point to get lunch. They nagged me into coming and eventually realized that I was upset even though I was practically holding back tears most of the time. I consider Lauren one of my best friends, and she doesn't stick up for me in those situations because she doesn't want to hurt phillipa's feelings. They apologized a load but it didn't really help, I pretended to smile and just loaded up on comfert food from the shops.
I slowly calmed down and my uncle phoned me asking about what to get the other family members for christmas, so I gave my rather shite and bland suggestions, and then hung up. I wasn't in the mood for it today. Jazz was okay, because Steph's in it. Who allegedly fancies me. I really like her as a person though, because she is always happy to see me.
Lauren and Phillipa were going to piss around after Jazz and I just couldn't be arsed with them so I sat and watched my brother's jazz class before coming home. I really quickly went online on msn, but no-one I wanted to talk to was online. Or in otherwords, Sam wasn't online. I just pissed around on Fable 2 and then watched the second half of love actually by myself. Henry joined me for a bit but he went to be after about twenty minutes.
Modern hit me really hard today, and it shouldn't have. I was just so sure that Lauren of all people would stick up for me in a situation where she was in the position to. I was sure of it. She properly apologized and stuff, but it still kind of stings. I'm doubting myself right now. I guess I'll get up tommorow and do all my homework and shit.
Love Actually got me thinking though. Christmas is a time to spend with your loved ones, allegedly. Who would I want to spend it with?
Sam... Lauren Ramsden (not dancing Lauren)... Someone who I'm not going to name because it's embarrasing... Rix... Maybe Myles...
Music: Glasgow Love Theme - From love actually, don't know who plays it.
Today was a day of ups and downs, and the fact I'm still up at 00:30am proves that. I got up around 8, hurridly had a shower and was rushed out the door to go to dancing. Me and my dad made a bit of small talk in the car, then he parked up a bit early and told me that I should follow my heart when I'm choosing my career. I don't get what brought it on, but I just smiled and got out the car. I've been thinking about it quite a lot since he said it. He's right, and I will.
Tap, the teacher was running mega late, so we had a senior girl who I'm okay friends with called Zoey take the class with a random cd she'd been provided. The lesson was actually really fun, we were fitting our excersises to random pieces of music. We did double-triple timesteps to mambo number five, for example. Then at the end she challanged us to choreograph 2 counts of 8 using steps from our excersises, to 'Tragedy'. Mine turned out okay in the end, I quite liked it.
Modern however, was totally different. The teacher had arrived and all. My friends just didn't seem to be themselves, and didn't want to be with me in pairships. Which I found hurtful, because I'm not a bad dancer. I'm not the best in the class by a long shot, but I'm not the worst either. We then had to make up dances again in the last five minutes, but in groups. Lauren and Phillipa shunned me for god knows why, and Emily and Matt had already left to go to panto rehearsals. I didn't bother to ask the others and decided to make one on my own. It was okay I guess, but I was really hurt by the way Phillipa had reacted to me asking to go with them. We're okay friends, is the thing. No one really thought to ask me to join, and when the teacher said 'Who'll go first?' and I volunteered (just to get it out of the way) no one other than Phillipa and Lauren had realized. I did it, and everyone atleast pretended to like it. Then all the other groups went. Class ended and I got changed, then when I was invited into town by Lauren and Phillipa I said no, and they knew that I had to go at some point to get lunch. They nagged me into coming and eventually realized that I was upset even though I was practically holding back tears most of the time. I consider Lauren one of my best friends, and she doesn't stick up for me in those situations because she doesn't want to hurt phillipa's feelings. They apologized a load but it didn't really help, I pretended to smile and just loaded up on comfert food from the shops.
I slowly calmed down and my uncle phoned me asking about what to get the other family members for christmas, so I gave my rather shite and bland suggestions, and then hung up. I wasn't in the mood for it today. Jazz was okay, because Steph's in it. Who allegedly fancies me. I really like her as a person though, because she is always happy to see me.
Lauren and Phillipa were going to piss around after Jazz and I just couldn't be arsed with them so I sat and watched my brother's jazz class before coming home. I really quickly went online on msn, but no-one I wanted to talk to was online. Or in otherwords, Sam wasn't online. I just pissed around on Fable 2 and then watched the second half of love actually by myself. Henry joined me for a bit but he went to be after about twenty minutes.
Modern hit me really hard today, and it shouldn't have. I was just so sure that Lauren of all people would stick up for me in a situation where she was in the position to. I was sure of it. She properly apologized and stuff, but it still kind of stings. I'm doubting myself right now. I guess I'll get up tommorow and do all my homework and shit.
Love Actually got me thinking though. Christmas is a time to spend with your loved ones, allegedly. Who would I want to spend it with?
Sam... Lauren Ramsden (not dancing Lauren)... Someone who I'm not going to name because it's embarrasing... Rix... Maybe Myles...
Friday, December 05, 2008
Sinus Melt Down
Mood: Struggling through.
Music: Hallelujah - Rufus Wainwright.
Yesterday was nothing out of the ordinary. It felt wierd not having a LOTF rehearsal though. Oh, and I won a cookie in R.S, but that was balanced out by being smashed in the eye with a football in P.E, lol. It didn't hurt much though, but I found it hilarious.
I'm going through a bit of a rough patch at the moment; I'm completely exhausted, and don't have the time to rest up. I'm usually a bit tired, in fact I can't remember a time where I wasn't.. But this level is just unhealthy. Tuesday night I pretty much crashed, Wednesday after the shakespeare essay I crashed again, last night no so much but still crashing and right now I'm feeling as if I'm gonna crash again. I dun like it. :(
Morning form I got there early and just put my head on desk to try and get some sleep. Thompson asked me if I was okay and I was just like I want shleeeeep so he laughed and went back on his computer. I asked to see him during break and he said okay, just because I needed like two seconds of his time. Then I went off to first lesson which was History. My fourth question of coursework is due in for the last day of term, and it's like a 1,200 word essay. Might do it over the weekend. History was okay, but Alistair got a bit annoying. Second was Physics, and Chris asked me to sit next to him so I abandoned Aran and Matt for him, and felt slightly bad when Matt did his sad face thing which is sooo cute. I like Chris though, he's just slightly more upbeat than most people. Break I tried to see Thompson but he wasn't there so the sixth formers kicked me out and I went to the library and just hung there. Miss Leedale is such an old bag; I genuinely hate her. Atleast she's given my book section to the new librarians though, so I don't have a section anymore. SCORE.
Biology was okay, just boring. We went through stuff on infections and how they spread and shit, how the body reacts and how vaccination works. Aran changed the words of the song 'Fascination' to 'Vaccination' which was pretty funny. Then he nicked Tubby's diary and wrote most of the song 'Hallelujah' in the back of it, which I then sang under my breath and it got stuck in my head. Thompson wasn't in his room at lunch either, and I the 'gang' wasn't in the quiet area so I gave in and went to choir. Tom and John were there, along with John's little brother Thomas who is (imo) an annoying snotbag. Tom mentioned Sam being depressed so I used that as an excuse to get out so that I could go find him so I could give him shnuggle time. He was in the library and it turned out he'd just lost his voice. Miss leedale being the old bag she is, me & Sam jumped ship of the library and spent lunch together. We promised each other heated sex at my house. Haha.
Afternoon form was alright. Thompson was like sorreh i was buseh. I stayed back after form instead and he got rid of Callum and Alistair. Alistair is just annoying, but he keeps pushing limits. He's really starting to collectively tick me and Thompson off. Callum is just dumb and wants to get Thompson 'on his side'. I don't mind Callum, but I do prefer to be alone with Thompson, I just don't get the chance anymore. We were never that close, but we were closer before. But he banished them and I finally got the chance.
It's his birthday sunday and like the suckup/friend I am I got him a tiny gift. It's not like one of those shitty impersonal things though, because he means a lot to me. I've yet to work out why, he means far too much. In summer, I went to Edinborough Comedy Festival (it was jokes) and I got each of the people I went to see to sign my program/ticket, minus Ed Byrne as he doesn't meet and greet. So I had this program with the autographs of: Stephen K Amos, Tim Minchin, Nicholas Parsons and Mark Wattson. When I told him about the festival in september he was dead jealous, so I gave him the program as the gift.
French wasn't as bad as it could have been, it's actually a lot better now. It's not depressing, it's just boring. I managed to stay focussed for most of it and I got a low B for my first bit of coursework, which I was happyface about. Physics part 2 was okay just boring because Mr. Matthews talks sooo much. After that I went to go talk to Thompson really quickly, he was Miss Knaggs and Callum who was like 'oh we should start a group.' I was like 'no. we shouldn't.' I guess I'm just jealous, I'm petty and matieralistic like that. Miss Knaggs was like 'You shud of brought him a present but I can't really talk cause I forgot too.' To me and Callum and me and sir looked at each other and smirked, but I didn't want to say anything in front of Callum. Then Thompson went back to his room to mark in some grades, Callum was staying with Knaggs so I went with Sir. We just talked about the weekend and stuff for a bit, and I knicked his phone, got it to his number, and slowly started to write it out (not intending to finish it, just to see his reaction) I got it half down before he noticed. I lol'ed. He moaned about having to do shit so I gave him a hug even if he didn't hug back. It felt good, haha. Then I realized I had stage coach and bolted home.
Stagecoach was okay but I sounded crap in singing cause of my cold; I sound crap normally but like... worse than normal.
Got home and pissed around a bit, before eating and writing this up. I've not had an opportunity to talk to Sam like, properly, recently. Lunch today... Well it was great and all, but I feel like he's a bit more confident over the computer or in actual private. It's just.. I've always got something on. I hope he knows how important he is to me. Or I will be sadface.
ILU SAM <3 teacher and my best friend. The best friend bit is all good. The teacher bit is sad. I wish he didn't mean as much to me, because... I don't mean much to him. It's depressing. Ugh I'm being obsessive. Someone slap me.
Music: Hallelujah - Rufus Wainwright.
Yesterday was nothing out of the ordinary. It felt wierd not having a LOTF rehearsal though. Oh, and I won a cookie in R.S, but that was balanced out by being smashed in the eye with a football in P.E, lol. It didn't hurt much though, but I found it hilarious.
I'm going through a bit of a rough patch at the moment; I'm completely exhausted, and don't have the time to rest up. I'm usually a bit tired, in fact I can't remember a time where I wasn't.. But this level is just unhealthy. Tuesday night I pretty much crashed, Wednesday after the shakespeare essay I crashed again, last night no so much but still crashing and right now I'm feeling as if I'm gonna crash again. I dun like it. :(
Morning form I got there early and just put my head on desk to try and get some sleep. Thompson asked me if I was okay and I was just like I want shleeeeep so he laughed and went back on his computer. I asked to see him during break and he said okay, just because I needed like two seconds of his time. Then I went off to first lesson which was History. My fourth question of coursework is due in for the last day of term, and it's like a 1,200 word essay. Might do it over the weekend. History was okay, but Alistair got a bit annoying. Second was Physics, and Chris asked me to sit next to him so I abandoned Aran and Matt for him, and felt slightly bad when Matt did his sad face thing which is sooo cute. I like Chris though, he's just slightly more upbeat than most people. Break I tried to see Thompson but he wasn't there so the sixth formers kicked me out and I went to the library and just hung there. Miss Leedale is such an old bag; I genuinely hate her. Atleast she's given my book section to the new librarians though, so I don't have a section anymore. SCORE.
Biology was okay, just boring. We went through stuff on infections and how they spread and shit, how the body reacts and how vaccination works. Aran changed the words of the song 'Fascination' to 'Vaccination' which was pretty funny. Then he nicked Tubby's diary and wrote most of the song 'Hallelujah' in the back of it, which I then sang under my breath and it got stuck in my head. Thompson wasn't in his room at lunch either, and I the 'gang' wasn't in the quiet area so I gave in and went to choir. Tom and John were there, along with John's little brother Thomas who is (imo) an annoying snotbag. Tom mentioned Sam being depressed so I used that as an excuse to get out so that I could go find him so I could give him shnuggle time. He was in the library and it turned out he'd just lost his voice. Miss leedale being the old bag she is, me & Sam jumped ship of the library and spent lunch together. We promised each other heated sex at my house. Haha.
Afternoon form was alright. Thompson was like sorreh i was buseh. I stayed back after form instead and he got rid of Callum and Alistair. Alistair is just annoying, but he keeps pushing limits. He's really starting to collectively tick me and Thompson off. Callum is just dumb and wants to get Thompson 'on his side'. I don't mind Callum, but I do prefer to be alone with Thompson, I just don't get the chance anymore. We were never that close, but we were closer before. But he banished them and I finally got the chance.
It's his birthday sunday and like the suckup/friend I am I got him a tiny gift. It's not like one of those shitty impersonal things though, because he means a lot to me. I've yet to work out why, he means far too much. In summer, I went to Edinborough Comedy Festival (it was jokes) and I got each of the people I went to see to sign my program/ticket, minus Ed Byrne as he doesn't meet and greet. So I had this program with the autographs of: Stephen K Amos, Tim Minchin, Nicholas Parsons and Mark Wattson. When I told him about the festival in september he was dead jealous, so I gave him the program as the gift.
French wasn't as bad as it could have been, it's actually a lot better now. It's not depressing, it's just boring. I managed to stay focussed for most of it and I got a low B for my first bit of coursework, which I was happyface about. Physics part 2 was okay just boring because Mr. Matthews talks sooo much. After that I went to go talk to Thompson really quickly, he was Miss Knaggs and Callum who was like 'oh we should start a group.' I was like 'no. we shouldn't.' I guess I'm just jealous, I'm petty and matieralistic like that. Miss Knaggs was like 'You shud of brought him a present but I can't really talk cause I forgot too.' To me and Callum and me and sir looked at each other and smirked, but I didn't want to say anything in front of Callum. Then Thompson went back to his room to mark in some grades, Callum was staying with Knaggs so I went with Sir. We just talked about the weekend and stuff for a bit, and I knicked his phone, got it to his number, and slowly started to write it out (not intending to finish it, just to see his reaction) I got it half down before he noticed. I lol'ed. He moaned about having to do shit so I gave him a hug even if he didn't hug back. It felt good, haha. Then I realized I had stage coach and bolted home.
Stagecoach was okay but I sounded crap in singing cause of my cold; I sound crap normally but like... worse than normal.
Got home and pissed around a bit, before eating and writing this up. I've not had an opportunity to talk to Sam like, properly, recently. Lunch today... Well it was great and all, but I feel like he's a bit more confident over the computer or in actual private. It's just.. I've always got something on. I hope he knows how important he is to me. Or I will be sadface.
ILU SAM <3 teacher and my best friend. The best friend bit is all good. The teacher bit is sad. I wish he didn't mean as much to me, because... I don't mean much to him. It's depressing. Ugh I'm being obsessive. Someone slap me.
Wednesday, December 03, 2008
Warmer Days
Mood: Content
Music: With or Without you – Diana Vickers cover
I’m not thinking properly due to being very tired, so this is pretty much whatever comes into my head, sorry.
Today was a catch up day, really. The aftermath of a busy November. Lord of the Flies is officially over (don’t go into last night, it was absolutely crap. To sum it up: Ross Arthur is a twat)
I caught up on coursework and homework, and most of the social stuff I’ve missed, except I still haven’t had a proper long conversation with Sam again yet, Fable 2 was asking to be played. =/
However, I did try and be as good a friend as possible. He seemed a bit glum during break and lunch so I made a shitty cheer up card for him and when we were walking back he was cold so I forced my jacket onto him. He tried to give it back and run but he forgot that I’m a faster runner than him. He failed in his attempts lol.
I had a load of lactic acid in my legs all day because I sprinted to school last night because a group of chavs were following me. It really got in the way when I was walking and stuff lol, but at least my back is fine now.
Work was good, nothing out of the ordinary, was all simple stuff.
English Coursework is done :) 4 and a bit pages or something in the end, and I’m quite proud of it. I managed to use quotes to back up my points and all.
So tired though. Gonna go to bed now.
Music: With or Without you – Diana Vickers cover
I’m not thinking properly due to being very tired, so this is pretty much whatever comes into my head, sorry.
Today was a catch up day, really. The aftermath of a busy November. Lord of the Flies is officially over (don’t go into last night, it was absolutely crap. To sum it up: Ross Arthur is a twat)
I caught up on coursework and homework, and most of the social stuff I’ve missed, except I still haven’t had a proper long conversation with Sam again yet, Fable 2 was asking to be played. =/
However, I did try and be as good a friend as possible. He seemed a bit glum during break and lunch so I made a shitty cheer up card for him and when we were walking back he was cold so I forced my jacket onto him. He tried to give it back and run but he forgot that I’m a faster runner than him. He failed in his attempts lol.
I had a load of lactic acid in my legs all day because I sprinted to school last night because a group of chavs were following me. It really got in the way when I was walking and stuff lol, but at least my back is fine now.
Work was good, nothing out of the ordinary, was all simple stuff.
English Coursework is done :) 4 and a bit pages or something in the end, and I’m quite proud of it. I managed to use quotes to back up my points and all.
So tired though. Gonna go to bed now.
Tuesday, December 02, 2008
Act III
Mood: Confused
Music: Details in the Fabric - Jason Mraz + James Morrison
I don't know what I'm feeling anymore. The end is here. Lord of the Flies finishes tonight. Finally. Yet, I'm not happy. Why am I not celebrating?
Over the day I found out quite a lot of people who had either said they would come and bought tickets or said they'd try to come didn't come or can't. I was actually quite dissapointed. Just because of how much my family said I was good in it, I really wanted all the people to see. Surprisingly, I wasn't annoyed at Sam for saying he couldn't come. He's got a life of his own. There was a certain person who I've been feeling distant from recently who told me they were coming last night. They bought a ticket. But they didn't go. It actually really pissed me off, but I just pretended it was fine and shrugged it off. I wanted them to go...
Double ICT was good, but Miss Hughes realized that Sam & I are rarely 'on task' but are still ahead, and thinks we need to get even further ahead. I don't get why. Core is just so basic and easy, it's boring to me. In standard IT, Sam gave me a goodluck card. I put on my best happy face. It meant a lot, but I just wasn't in the mood. Break was okay, it was just nothing special really. I guess I was distracted by things on my mind but I just said it was me being tired and ignored it, sort of.
Third was History which was surprisingly good, considering my group. We were forced into groups and I was stuck with Nizomi (who doesn't speak english great) Zack (who I like but is dim at best) Alistair Beverage (Who's nice but lazy) and Simret (Who I pretty much loathe.) and we actually did a really good job of the poster and had fun along the way. We represented France, and me and Sim ended up in a cuss match against Dom who was representing Germany.
Lunch I went to this thing for Miss Gower where she asked me to come up with questions and stuff for the new team. The person who's playing Jack is in the team, and even if he's a shite actor, he is very intellegent. This years team like me and I'm happy it's them. I knew three of them already, and the fourth is just an idiot who likes me anyway.
In a slightly better mood, I went to afternoon form. He doesn't know I'm annoyed; the amount I moaned about it, he probably thinks I didn't want him there anyway. But I put it past me and went to maths. Maths was okay, it was simple equations and easy. It was boring though. The people who play Simon, Piggy and Bill are in my class. I sit next to Alex (Simon) and Ben (Bill) and Mike (Piggy) is a table behind me. I like them all, so nowadays the class is better than before. We joked around, by quoting lines in mid conversations and confusing everyone except Matt (who'd seen the play last night) and Miss Lewis (who had also attended).
English was surprisingly good. Sam, Tom, Chris and I are in a group together and we watched I'm a Celebrity for a bit and it was revolting. Then we just laughed around a bit, and the bell rang.
I debated what to do after school and just ended up walking home, reflecting on stuff. I like my little walk home when I'm alone, I get to do a decent bit of thinking. I got in the door and loaded up Fable 2 and pissed around. I have a good character now and I'm just pissing around pretty much, and I own quite a lot of Real Estate so everytime I go on in the time I was away my character has shat a golden brick.
But I'm still not happy. I'm not sad, but dissapointment effected my day. I guess I just have to hold out till the end of act III tonight.
Music: Details in the Fabric - Jason Mraz + James Morrison
I don't know what I'm feeling anymore. The end is here. Lord of the Flies finishes tonight. Finally. Yet, I'm not happy. Why am I not celebrating?
Over the day I found out quite a lot of people who had either said they would come and bought tickets or said they'd try to come didn't come or can't. I was actually quite dissapointed. Just because of how much my family said I was good in it, I really wanted all the people to see. Surprisingly, I wasn't annoyed at Sam for saying he couldn't come. He's got a life of his own. There was a certain person who I've been feeling distant from recently who told me they were coming last night. They bought a ticket. But they didn't go. It actually really pissed me off, but I just pretended it was fine and shrugged it off. I wanted them to go...
Double ICT was good, but Miss Hughes realized that Sam & I are rarely 'on task' but are still ahead, and thinks we need to get even further ahead. I don't get why. Core is just so basic and easy, it's boring to me. In standard IT, Sam gave me a goodluck card. I put on my best happy face. It meant a lot, but I just wasn't in the mood. Break was okay, it was just nothing special really. I guess I was distracted by things on my mind but I just said it was me being tired and ignored it, sort of.
Third was History which was surprisingly good, considering my group. We were forced into groups and I was stuck with Nizomi (who doesn't speak english great) Zack (who I like but is dim at best) Alistair Beverage (Who's nice but lazy) and Simret (Who I pretty much loathe.) and we actually did a really good job of the poster and had fun along the way. We represented France, and me and Sim ended up in a cuss match against Dom who was representing Germany.
Lunch I went to this thing for Miss Gower where she asked me to come up with questions and stuff for the new team. The person who's playing Jack is in the team, and even if he's a shite actor, he is very intellegent. This years team like me and I'm happy it's them. I knew three of them already, and the fourth is just an idiot who likes me anyway.
In a slightly better mood, I went to afternoon form. He doesn't know I'm annoyed; the amount I moaned about it, he probably thinks I didn't want him there anyway. But I put it past me and went to maths. Maths was okay, it was simple equations and easy. It was boring though. The people who play Simon, Piggy and Bill are in my class. I sit next to Alex (Simon) and Ben (Bill) and Mike (Piggy) is a table behind me. I like them all, so nowadays the class is better than before. We joked around, by quoting lines in mid conversations and confusing everyone except Matt (who'd seen the play last night) and Miss Lewis (who had also attended).
English was surprisingly good. Sam, Tom, Chris and I are in a group together and we watched I'm a Celebrity for a bit and it was revolting. Then we just laughed around a bit, and the bell rang.
I debated what to do after school and just ended up walking home, reflecting on stuff. I like my little walk home when I'm alone, I get to do a decent bit of thinking. I got in the door and loaded up Fable 2 and pissed around. I have a good character now and I'm just pissing around pretty much, and I own quite a lot of Real Estate so everytime I go on in the time I was away my character has shat a golden brick.
But I'm still not happy. I'm not sad, but dissapointment effected my day. I guess I just have to hold out till the end of act III tonight.
Monday, December 01, 2008
Irritating Words
The play was... Better than expected, but still pretty damn bad. Everyone else seemed to think it went well though (in the cast anyway) so I joined in the cheering and stuff.
It's odd; I'm experianced enough on stage not to get nervous before a show. Even in these situations, where I could predict it'd go wrong. But I was still calm as anything. Everyone else was pissing themselves or running up and down or sitting in a heap biting their nails.
The show itself went fine. All the problems that happened where fixed. Mostly by Mike and I. Then when it was over and I was changed back and everything my family started telling me how it wouldn't of been a show without me, that I saved it and blah blah blah shut the hell up. I'm not even that good an actor. All that happened was that I didn't panic. A cast is a team, a team. If we make mistakes, it's not, for example, Ross's fault (though it normally is) its the casts. And as a team, we have to get him out of the problem. It just really annoys me, because them saying how good I was tonight puts pressure on me for tommorow. Whatever, its all good.
There is one thing I noticed tonight though. About a week ago, everything got on top of me and I just sat there all night with a wobbling lip realizing I was out of my depth. Then I realized, by this time wednesday, it'd all be over. However tonight, when thinking about it, it won't be. Mr. Torrent still wants me to save the choir, Mrs. Gower wants me to coach the science team, there will still be homework I haven't done...
But that's the way life works. Thats the way my life works. If it didn't, I wouldn't be who I am. I'm always rushed off my feet. Maybe not as rushed off my feet as I have been in November; but there is always something I haven't done. It's what makes me tick though. I guess the only thing I need to do is pencil in more time for the friends I've been sort of neglecting recently.
It's odd; I'm experianced enough on stage not to get nervous before a show. Even in these situations, where I could predict it'd go wrong. But I was still calm as anything. Everyone else was pissing themselves or running up and down or sitting in a heap biting their nails.
The show itself went fine. All the problems that happened where fixed. Mostly by Mike and I. Then when it was over and I was changed back and everything my family started telling me how it wouldn't of been a show without me, that I saved it and blah blah blah shut the hell up. I'm not even that good an actor. All that happened was that I didn't panic. A cast is a team, a team. If we make mistakes, it's not, for example, Ross's fault (though it normally is) its the casts. And as a team, we have to get him out of the problem. It just really annoys me, because them saying how good I was tonight puts pressure on me for tommorow. Whatever, its all good.
There is one thing I noticed tonight though. About a week ago, everything got on top of me and I just sat there all night with a wobbling lip realizing I was out of my depth. Then I realized, by this time wednesday, it'd all be over. However tonight, when thinking about it, it won't be. Mr. Torrent still wants me to save the choir, Mrs. Gower wants me to coach the science team, there will still be homework I haven't done...
But that's the way life works. Thats the way my life works. If it didn't, I wouldn't be who I am. I'm always rushed off my feet. Maybe not as rushed off my feet as I have been in November; but there is always something I haven't done. It's what makes me tick though. I guess the only thing I need to do is pencil in more time for the friends I've been sort of neglecting recently.
Mixed Emotions
Mood: I'm not too sure, actually...
Music: If You Only Knew - Savannah Outen
Everything is up in the air right now. I'm not too sure how I feel about anything, or anyone. I've had so much on my plate over November, that now when it's coming to a halt; everything's changed. I missed all of my lessons today for one final rehearsal; but I still went to form. Morning assembly was boring as per usual, about records of achievement. You did tell us, you know, in fact I need to do some printing in ICT tommorow so I can have a colour version of two certificates to put in my record of achievement.
The rehearsals were awful, but atleast we got a tiny bit of practice in. Myles continiously pissed me off during the first two periods by telling everyone they should know their lines and how it's going to look awful. Just before break I flipped at him. 'We all know it's shit without you telling us every five seconds, so stop bumming us out. And coming from you! You have 8 lines and you can't even get any of them right so why are you having a go at us when we have like, hundreds!?' He didn't respond, he just walked off. It hurt his feelings, but I didn't care then and I don't now. He was being selfish, he was goading us for a reaction because he was bored.
Lunch was okay I guess. Went to see my english teacher to ask for an extension for the coursework because of Lord of the Flies taking up our time. Instead, I got some homework due in tommorow and an extra day, instead of the week I'd asked for. I guess it's something. I will do the essay after work on wednesday; it's the only opportunity I have. Then we went to the library; and had a bucket of laughs. This person who takes over at 12:40 from the librarians is actually awful. She hasn't worked out how the alarm system works yet, so people take advantage by setting it off every two seconds. Her reaction is still hilarious.
Fourth period, Miss tried to have a go at me for telling Kieran to listen. I lol'ed at her. Again. Earlier in the day someone asked me in front of her whether or not I was in the play and I said 'unfortunatly so' and she got pissy with me for it. She decided that I'm demoralizing the rest of the cast for my own amusement. I'm sorry... WHAT!? Kieran had no clue what he was doing so I was telling him to listen so he'd know. To HELP. I was correcting Ross's pronounciation so he wouldn't look like a dick on stage. To HELP. It was a joke. For LOLZ. Seriously, "-.-
It's a good thing I've realized this play is better than we think, and I want my friends to come just because of the amount of time that's gone into it. All that shitty time that I could've used in much more productive ways.
Then there is the fact I'm confused in my love life at the moment... I like... 4 different people, I think it comes to? 2 of them would never like me, for reasons best not explained. Just because if anyone reads it and works out who they are and tells them.. It just wouldn't go well. 1 of the 2 that would never date me however, suspects that I have feelings for them due to my friend's loud mouths. Hence the choice of song.
Music: If You Only Knew - Savannah Outen
Everything is up in the air right now. I'm not too sure how I feel about anything, or anyone. I've had so much on my plate over November, that now when it's coming to a halt; everything's changed. I missed all of my lessons today for one final rehearsal; but I still went to form. Morning assembly was boring as per usual, about records of achievement. You did tell us, you know, in fact I need to do some printing in ICT tommorow so I can have a colour version of two certificates to put in my record of achievement.
The rehearsals were awful, but atleast we got a tiny bit of practice in. Myles continiously pissed me off during the first two periods by telling everyone they should know their lines and how it's going to look awful. Just before break I flipped at him. 'We all know it's shit without you telling us every five seconds, so stop bumming us out. And coming from you! You have 8 lines and you can't even get any of them right so why are you having a go at us when we have like, hundreds!?' He didn't respond, he just walked off. It hurt his feelings, but I didn't care then and I don't now. He was being selfish, he was goading us for a reaction because he was bored.
Lunch was okay I guess. Went to see my english teacher to ask for an extension for the coursework because of Lord of the Flies taking up our time. Instead, I got some homework due in tommorow and an extra day, instead of the week I'd asked for. I guess it's something. I will do the essay after work on wednesday; it's the only opportunity I have. Then we went to the library; and had a bucket of laughs. This person who takes over at 12:40 from the librarians is actually awful. She hasn't worked out how the alarm system works yet, so people take advantage by setting it off every two seconds. Her reaction is still hilarious.
Fourth period, Miss tried to have a go at me for telling Kieran to listen. I lol'ed at her. Again. Earlier in the day someone asked me in front of her whether or not I was in the play and I said 'unfortunatly so' and she got pissy with me for it. She decided that I'm demoralizing the rest of the cast for my own amusement. I'm sorry... WHAT!? Kieran had no clue what he was doing so I was telling him to listen so he'd know. To HELP. I was correcting Ross's pronounciation so he wouldn't look like a dick on stage. To HELP. It was a joke. For LOLZ. Seriously, "-.-
It's a good thing I've realized this play is better than we think, and I want my friends to come just because of the amount of time that's gone into it. All that shitty time that I could've used in much more productive ways.
Then there is the fact I'm confused in my love life at the moment... I like... 4 different people, I think it comes to? 2 of them would never like me, for reasons best not explained. Just because if anyone reads it and works out who they are and tells them.. It just wouldn't go well. 1 of the 2 that would never date me however, suspects that I have feelings for them due to my friend's loud mouths. Hence the choice of song.
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