Internal Delays

Mood: Not unhappy, but still pretty crappy.
Music: Collide - Howie Day
This song was played on One Tree Hill, which is an okay program I watch when it's on and I have litterally nothing else to do, and it really spoke to me today. I've been having a rough period recently, and it just seemed to help. I guess it's just a thing for me, but a lot of songs connect with me in my certain moods; and this is definately going on the list. I say that as if I have a list. Which I don't. I should start one.

I felt quite rough last night so I made a point of mentioning it to my mum, as she's a bit of a suspicious person who is unlikely to believe me in the mornings if I say I feel ill. She knows I'm not a morning person, but at night she seems to take it on board. Then I went to bed, and really struggled to get to sleep. Woke up in the middle of the night, sweaty as fuck, I had a nightmare. D: I dreamt I was in this glassy cage, and it kept shrinking, and all my friends walked past ignoring me. Then some people I hate walked past and started laughing at me and throwing stones. One broke the cage and I woke up. I went to the bathroom and my stomache ache kicked in as I washed my face, and I forced myself back to sleep again. My mum came in this morning and I said how I was really tired and she said she'd phone school and my boss to say I wouldn't be coming in. I feel bad about missing so much work, because of lord of the flies and now being ill. Linda is probably ready to fire me right about now.
I got up again around 11:30, and no-one was home. I was feeling slightly better, but still a bit shit. I wasn't sure what time my mum was meant to be home, but I guessed she'd be home in about an hour because she'd take a bit of time after lunch off to come see me because she has the right to do that. I spent half an hour on RuneScape just pissing around with my old character, it's so different on freeplay. Don't judge me, there was nothing better to do. Then I logged everything showing I went on the computer out (my mum's got this odd theory that computers make you sicker when you're ill) and settled down with my duvet infront of the TV. I watched 'The Parent Trap' which is an amazing film, and then a few other programs. Mum came and went, and when my cleaner left I went back on the computer. Sam was online so I was cheered up slightly and we're still talking now. I looked in the mirror, and spots have taken over my face. It's disgusting. I'm ugggleeeeeeee. :( Then all my flaws and faults kept popping up in my head, and I didn't want to bring it up until Sam asked and I just let go and told him everything.
He's probably long facing at how needy I am.

I can't get relationships and friendships and how their progressing out of my head right now. Like why does this girl have a crush on me? There is nothing attractive about me! Or why do certain people mean so much to me? Or, why do I mean so little to them?
Most of all, why couldn't life just be simple?